How do you name your child? Do you assemble a family powwow, sit down with Cross century pens and a ream of papers, scrawl out possible names for the little one, and then split hairs over the names that sounds nicest?

Naming Children

In the old days, child-naming was simpler. Parents did not have to scratch names off a list using their Cross pens. Expectant parents either named children after a grandparent, aunt, or uncle, or bestowed them with names that seemed to describe them best - think Indian names like Little Foot, Big Rock, and Strong as the Wind. There was no elaborate fuss over whom the child should be named after.

Odd and Odder

Today, parents put much thought into their children’s names. Thanks to celebrities’ penchant for picking out outlandish names, the rest of humanity stranger by the minute.

More recently, a couple in New Zealand lost custody of their daughter when they named her Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii. A family court judge gave the order after it was discovered the child felt so humiliated by the name she refused to share it with her friends. Rather than admit her parents had named her Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii, the little girl insisted her name is K.

Quirky Is Not Always Illegal

In his ruling, the judge noted parents should not give their children strange names as this exposes them to ridicule by their peers. He said poor judgment when it comes to names would only be a social disability and an unnecessary handicap to a child who, unwittingly, has to bear the burden of being called Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii. To illustrate his point better, the judge gave a list of names that may be deemed bad for a child’s well-being, among them:

1. Yeah Detroit
2. Sex Fruit
3. Fish and Chips
4. Stallion
5. Keenan Got Lucy
6. Twisty Poi

Not all odd names are considered damaging to child psychology, though. In fact, in the same ruling, the judge also included names that, though strange, were allowed by the court, specifically:

1. Number 16 Bus Shelter
2. tragically, Violence
3. Midnight Chardonnay

This ruling brings to light one aspect of New Zealand legislation that is not like any in the world. Before parents can whip out a Cross pen set and register the quirky name of their child, they have to remember the law does not allow names that would cause offense to a reasonable person.

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