Have you had a recent breakup, or maybe you and your husband (or wife) are seeing a marriage counselor? Or are you trying to stop a breakup? Whether you want to get your ex-girlfriend back or your ex-boyfriend back, or you are working to save your relationship, the best advice anyone can give you is to find that spark that originally drew you two together.

Breakups don’t have to be forever. As Tina Turner sings in What’s Love Got To Do With It, “Why do so many people breakup, then turn around and make up…” If you really want to, you can makeup with your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend. Many times after a tough breakup, we think “what have I done– what a big mistake”.

Doesn’t that sound familiar? Relationships split up sometimes and you don’t really know why. In the beginning, everything’s all lovey-dovey. What happens? Why do we seem to want to murder each other after a few years? And then, after we break up, so many times we realize how much we really love the person again. And then we want to get our ex back more than anything. Human beings are strange creatures.

If you really want to get your ex back immediately, then you have to figure out what went wrong, and how you can fix it. It may mean that you need to be more honest with him or her, or maybe even with yourself.

Getting your guy back (or your girl back) won’t be a walk in the park. Usually, there are real problems underlying why things became difficult in the first place. Breakups don’t just happen for no reason. That’s why it takes work and dedication to save your relationship.

It is even harder sometimes if you are trying to save your relationship. Perhaps you may stay together for the kids (if you have them), or for financial reasons, but if you have already separated, it takes a lot to get back together. I suggest seeing a relationship therapist if you haven’t tried that already (even if you’re not married). It can help to stop a breakup, or maybe even a divorce.

Remember your ex may also be thinking, “I want my girlfriend back (or my boyfriend back)” or “I want my wife back (or I want my husband back)”. You have to keep talking honestly to find out. Again, a relationship therapist can help. It can save your relationship.

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