So many people today have some kind of relationship problem or another. But have you ever wondered just WHY so many relationships fail after they seem to be going well right from the start? Perhaps you are even starting to see the pattern in your own life – you get the guy, things are going great and then all of a sudden after one fight or disagreement, things start to disintegrate. Or maybe there wasn’t even a fight, things just suddenly started going…downhill.

Well, this may not be the case in EVERY relationship – but – the biggest thing that drives men absolutely NUTS about women is when women act needy or insecure. The thing is – most women USE neediness and insecurity as a METHOD to get men to pay more attention to them. Beginning to see the problem?

I know I sure didn’t for most of my dating life. I had the same pattern – my relationships would be going great, then SOMETHING would happen – nothing major usually, and we would start to drift apart. The more we drifted, the harder I tried (the needier I became) and the bigger the chasm grew. I, of course, did not recognize what was happening, and kept acting in the same way. (You know – they define insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting to get different results!)

I read an eBook then by Christian Carter, hoping to get a little relationship help. So that is where I learned this. Anyway – let’s look a little more closely at this relationship problem and see what we can do about it, shall we?

Ok – something happens – maybe you get your feelings hurt, maybe you feel a flash of jealousy, maybe he has his first “boy’s night out” without you – whatever it may be. This leaves you feeling a little…unsure, uncomfortable, insecure or just plain edgy. So – as women, we are programmed to believe that men are attracted to us because they want to protect and nurture us (which they DO – but not like this). I mean, as women, when a baby cries, we pick it up and try to comfort it, right? Right.

But when YOU “cry” as an adult, using attention seeking behaviors, the guy immediately has alarms going off in his head saying “This chick is NEEDY – GET OUT!” Not exactly the reaction you were looking for? I thought not. Men have highly sensitive “radar” for clingy, needy, and insecure behavior. A woman’s tone of voice, body language or words can quickly tell a guy about clingy or insecure feelings a woman is having. Worst of all, when a guy picks up on this it often has effects on the long-term potential he sees in his relationship with a woman .

Here are some examples of this needy or insecure behavior:

1 – Sayingnegative things from your past beau and past relationships.
2 - Talking or saying negative things about other girls.
3- Hanging on a guy or touching him constantly, especially in public.
4 – Continually wanting to be the center of attention.
5- Being dramatic and emotional.

What’s worse is that once he SEES this behavior in you, he starts to see it in everything you do, whether it is needy or not. That’s when things start to disintegrate. What is also does is kill any attraction he was feeling for you. That’s terminal in a relationship.

Now – that is certainly a big list of what NOT to do. Christian Carter also has a whole book FULL of what TO do in a relationship as well, so if you have not read Catch Him and Keep Him, I suggest you do. But just becoming AWARE of the negative behaviors that affect your relationship will do wonders for your next one.

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